Just Plain Painful

"Growing pains" is a word-phrase that is used to describe the sometimes 'painful' phases we go through as we get a little older and a littler wiser. Babies have literal growing pains as their teeth come in. Teens have growing pains when they realize they aren't popular and they never will be. The key word here is 'growing,' really. That baby will eventually have teeth with which to gnaw on all sorts of yummy items, and he or she will be thankful for it. That teenager will hopefully manage to get through high school without smuggling an Uzi into Home Ec. and he or she will turn into an adult with excellent coping skills. They will grow.

So, how ironic is it that former 'Growing Pains' star Kirk Cameron has a memoir out called "Still Growing?" Sure, it seems ironic because, as most of us know, Cameron has gone the path of the faithful, which, to many of us, is a sign of downright stunted growth. That's not the only ironic part. In an interview with beliefnet, there was the following exchange:

Your parents wanted you to choose your own religious path once you were older. As a parent yourself now, do you embrace that attitude with your own children? Should parents who are Christians lay the foundation for their children or let them choose their own path later?

As a father of six kids and as a man who's been transformed by the power of the gospel, I would never just let my kids flounder and just sort of try to figure out their own way through life when I know that I've got the best guide on the planet—God and His word. So of course I'm going to bring my kids up to know and understand who God is, and then pray that God will regenerate their heart and bring them to a living, real, and lasting faith in Him through repentance and faith in Christ.

Hmm. So much for the whole concept of 'growing pains,' even if he did think he was being clever with his evolving title. So much for giving his kids the same freedom to actually learn and grow and make their own decisions, as painful as they might be at times. See, his kids will grow up and they'll do all the other painful teenage transforming, just like everyone else. But this God question? Are they allowed to 'grow' into that, like their father clearly had the fortune (or misfortune, depends on how you look at it) to do. It seems that the idea of his kids going through the 'painful' process of trying to answer the same questions he was trying to answer and coming to possibly the same conclusion that he has is too much for him. More likely, though, he's afraid they'll be smarter than he is and they'll choose a different path. Can't have that.

So much for those 'growing pains,' pathetic from a man who says he's 'still growing.' He's still growing, alright...straight up to God, like an inbred family tree. But then again, this is Ray Comfort's Banana Sidekick*. I guess we can't expect too much.

*Here, Kirk, hold this. I can think of other things just the 'right shape for the human mouth.' Go nuts, you lunatics.